Understanding True Love

Love is the foundation of any relationship. It's especially unique and deeper when it comes to marriage. A good foundation of friendship and genuine love will go a long way in the success of any marriage. A friendship that is unselfish and grows with time. A friendship that hopes to bring out the best in the other person.

What is True Love?

True love is something special—it’s way more than just a feeling or a spark of attraction. It’s deep, real, and takes time to grow. It’s about understanding, commitment, and putting in the effort to build something strong and lasting.

A lot of people mix up true love with infatuation or lust, but they’re not the same. Infatuation is that overwhelming, head-over-heels rush where logic goes out the window. It feels intense but fades fast, often leaving regret behind. Lust? That’s just physical attraction or a selfish desire to have something (or someone) without thinking about the bigger picture. Neither of these comes with real commitment or the willingness to sacrifice for someone else.

True love, on the other hand, is selfless. It’s about lifting each other up, encouraging growth, and walking together in faith. When Christ is at the center of that love, it becomes even stronger—like a cord of three strands that can’t be easily broken.

Understanding True Love

The story in the Bible of Amnon, one of David’s sons and Tamar his half sister is an example of lust, the dangers and consequences that comes with it. 2 Samuel 13:1-22. Amnon was so obsessed with his half sister, Tamar so strongly, he crafted a plan to get a chance to be alone with Tamar and raped her. Amnon's love for Tamar turned out to be a shallow one and quickly turned to hate after the unfortunate event. 

Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her. 2 Sam 13:15

True love knows that no matter what, life is precious and worth living to the fullest because God has ordained our steps and already has a plan for everyone. 

The story of Jacob and Rachel, on the other hand, is an example of true love. Genesis 29:15-30. Jacob was working for Laban, Rachel's father when he met Rachel. Jacob loved Rachel and made his intent known to Rachel’s after. Laban requested that Jacob work for him for seven years in order to marry Rachel and he did. 

Since Jacob was in love with Rachel, he told her father, “I’ll work for you for seven years if you’ll give me Rachel, your younger daughter, as my wife.” Genesis 29:18

After seven years, the father gave Leah to Jacob as wife. Jacob was not happy and worked another seven years to be able to marry Rachel. In all, Jacob worked and waited for Rachel for 14 years. True love is patient and willing to wait.

God tells us exactly what true love is and we’ve heard it so much, we tend to nod in agreement and move on past it.

The Bible is clear, every word is intentional. 

In 1 Corinthians 13, the Bible gave us a clear guide to decide when love is true and genuine: 

●      Love is Patient - when you are living with your true love, just like when you live with your parents, you will need patience. True love works through issues without complaining, deals with suffering or annoying requests without getting angry.

●      Love Is Kind - true love is gentle and compassionate. It shares in your sorrows and celebrates in your joy. It cares about all things…big and small.

●      Love Does not Envy - True love is happy and content right in the moment regardless of what possessions you may or may not have.

●      Love Does Not Boast - true love knows that no one is perfect and everyone will make mistakes. True love is willing to admit the mistakes and forgives.

●      Love is Not Arrogant - When someone truly loves you they will not shame you as they build themself up. They will lift you up, honor you and respect you

●      Love is not Rude - True love is considerate and thoughtful about the object of their affection.

●      Love does not insist on its own way - true love is deep, calm and desires to flow freely and will not insist on one path or one way.

●      Love is not irritable - true love doesn’t have a short fuse and blows up at the smallest of requests. Love takes great pleasure in doing, helping and being there when needed.

●      Love is Not Resentful - True love will work through issues and then forgive. It doesn’t hold grudges or brings up past mistakes time after time.

●      Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing - true love does the right thing, celebrates things that are good and right.

●      Love rejoices with the truth - True love is an honest life, living in truth while shining the light and love of the Lord for others to see.

●      Love Bears all things - True love will work through the most difficult issue and come out stronger than ever. True love tackles things that life throws at you, bearing the burdens, protecting and allowing you to live knowing that you are safe in this love.

●      Love Believes all things - True love trusts the good in you, loves the abilities and inner strength God has put in you and recognizes the talents and gifts that God gives to you as you serve Him together.

●      Love Hopes All things - Love truly does look for the good, finds the good and sees the good in every bit of you. The future is bright as you serve the Lord hand in hand with true love.

●      Love endures all things - True love, for better or worse, in sickness and health, in poverty and wealth truly does endures all things.

True love is powerful, but it’s not just a one-time thing—it’s a daily choice, a continuous effort to love, serve, and grow together in the Lord. It takes work, but when two people walk in God’s purpose as one, it becomes something truly beautiful.

Real love is rare and precious. As Christians, we’re called to love like God does—to see people for who they are, flaws and all, and support them as they grow into the person He created them to be. It’s not about waiting for perfection but loving through the process.

God’s love is unconditional, and because of that, we can love not just our spouse or partner but also the stranger on the street. The love may look different, but at its core, it’s the same—it’s His love flowing through us.

The love we receive from God—the kind that never fades, never fails—that’s the love we should strive to reflect in our relationships. When we truly understand that, we begin to grasp what real love is all about.

Every day, as we walk with God, we learn more about love. Our imperfections teach us to be patient, our weaknesses remind us to show grace, and our strengths give us the ability to lift each other up. Love isn’t about having it all figured out; it’s about being willing to learn and grow, both individually and together.

If you’re in a relationship or thinking about starting one, take time to reflect on these qualities. Do you see them in yourself? In your partner? No one is perfect, but the willingness to work at love, to be better than yesterday, is what truly makes the difference.

A strong marriage isn’t built on perfection—it’s built on two people committed to loving, learning, and growing together, no matter what.